For most kids experiencing divorce,’ wishing things were different’ is a normal part of processing the loss . It takes time for all of us to come to terms with any major change in our lives. Kids going through divorce not only need this time they also need extra help working through these changes and the new reality that they are experiencing. It’s important for parents to provide a safe place for kids to talk through the things they are ‘wishing’ and hoping for.
While it is normal for children to engage in ‘magical thinking’, children experiencing divorce default to this over and over again. It’s a way their hearts and minds try to cope with the massive loss within their families and their day-in-day-out routines. Parents can help. By letting kids talk through what they are wishing would happen and then steadily encouraging what is the new reality for their family, kids can productively work through the grief and change and learn to accept the new.